Refuge, the UK’s largest specialist domestic abuse charity, is raising the alarm over a worrying gap in the public’s understanding of post-separation abuse, despite persistently high reports to its National Domestic Abuse Helpline.
The criminalisation of controlling or coercive behaviour after separation was introduced through the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 and came into force on 5 April 2023. Now, Refuge reveals reports of post-separation abuse to its National Domestic Abuse Helpline remain alarmingly high, while the public significantly underestimates the threat posed by former partners.
New YouGov data commissioned by Refuge finds that while 71% of UK adults correctly believe that a woman is most likely to be abused by someone she knows, there is a widespread misunderstanding about who that person is. Among those who chose “someone she knows”, 78% said a current partner is most likely to be the abuser, while just 12% identified an ex-partner.
Data from Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline shows that post-separation abuse is far more common than people think. In 2025, 19,674 callers were asked who their perpetrator was, with 42% (8,283) identifying a former partner. Of those asked, 47% (9,176) reported a current partner, yet only a small proportion of the public recognise an ex-partner as a likely abuser.
Refuge’s Helpline team have identified a number of dangerous patterns in post-separation abuse cases, including perpetrators breaching bail conditions, threatening survivors’ children or new partners, and using child custody arrangements to maintain control or to avoid child maintenance payments. Helpline advisors highlight the devastating impact this abuse has on survivors, many of whom live with trauma as a result of their experiences.
The Government’s recent Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) Strategy, titled Freedom from Violence and Abuse, outlines three key pillars, including pursuing perpetrators. However, it fails to address the need for stronger institutional understanding of post-separation abuse within the systems that allow it to persist, such as the family courts.
As the three-year anniversary of the offence approaches, Refuge is raising public awareness of post-separation abuse and calling for stronger Government action to protect survivors from this insidious yet often-hidden form of abuse. This includes introducing mandatory training for police and the judiciary on the dynamics of domestic abuse, enabling the justice system to better recognise and respond to post-separation abuse.
Sasha*, a survivor supported by Refuge, experienced domestic abuse after separating from her partner, who is also the father of her child. She said:
“When we split up, he would show up unannounced, demanding to be let in under the guise of wanting to see my son. I moved to a new place, but he tracked us down using geolocation data in photos of my son that he had insisted I send because he wasn’t spending Christmas with him.
“The stalking and abuse kept ramping up. I did a year abroad as part of my degree and he flew 900 miles to find me. Later, after he threatened to kill himself and said it would be my fault, I reached breaking point.
“The police put a community resolution in place, saying he was not to come near me or try to contact me. But he broke that four times: he went to my gym, my house, my workplace, and even approached me in public. I eventually had to relocate with my son.
“Abuse doesn’t always end with separation and may not even begin or escalate until this point. There needs to be much more awareness of this. My son’s and my safety was on the line for years after I split from my ex. I want no woman or child to go through what we did.”
Gemma Sherrington, CEO of Refuge, said:
“Sadly, Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline regularly hears from survivors experiencing abuse after separation. But as the data shows, there is still a long way to go when it comes to public understanding of this form of abuse and the very real danger it can pose.
“While all forms of domestic abuse are frequently misunderstood within the justice system, post-separation abuse is particularly likely to go unrecognised by professionals, leaving survivors at heightened risk of harm.
“Women and their children deserve protection at every stage of their journey. Post-separation abuse must be treated with the seriousness it requires so that more survivors can access vital support.”
